THIS Actually Moves Your Career Forward
Growing up, my grandma taught me to knit. I loved sitting around and knitting with my mom's friends in the evenings. I was so proud of myself when I finished my first sweater, it was fabulous.
That love of knitting took me eventually to Parsons in NYC, where I took classes in knit design while also attending business school. I had this dream to work for a fashion brand.
And it actually happened. When I moved to San Francisco, I worked at the Gap, and then at Levi's.
I loved being at Levi's, and stayed for almost six years. I delivered good work, I got positive feedback. I genuinely believed that if I kept putting in the work, my boss would notice and reward my efforts, and help move my career forward.
They didn't do it for me or for anyone in my team. And meanwhile, colleagues in another team were promoted twice. Something broke in me, and I started looking for another job, and even considered another career path altogether.
Looking back, I understand where I went wrong.
I asked for more work to prove myself. It didn’t occur to me to ask for critical feedback.
This is a pattern I call "deliver and aggressively wait" and I see it constantly in many leaders.
Here is what it looks like: they over-deliver, work late, go beyond the ask, take on more projects. And they wait for the annual review to finally be recognized. Or for someone to see their unique brilliance.
But here is what I want people to understand:
When you're waiting to be seen and appreciated, you are handing your career to someone else and hoping THEY deliver.
And most of the time, they won't. Not because they don't care about you. Because they are simply not thinking about your career as often as they think about theirs.
As Byron Katie writes, your growth is your business.
If you want to grow, you have to regularly ask how can you improve. Gather a 360 view of how you’re seen, not just your boss.
Ask your team what you can do better, your stakeholders, your clients.
Go beyond the niceties. It takes a willingness to be uncomfortable, because none of us actually love negative feedback. It’s the worst thing for our ego.
It’s like when you work out, you hate pushups.
But you know they’re good for you.
I recently reconnected with a client I worked with a few years ago. She has been promoted, and is now leading a large and fast-growing team. She likes the work, and is told she is doing great.
But she isn’t receiving constructive feedback, which she doesn’t like. She knows she has blind spots.
But her boss isn’t comfortable with direct feedback. Which is costing her the one thing she actually needs to grow.
She is not the exception.
Research by Zenger and Folkman found that 57 percent of employees prefer corrective feedback over positive feedback. Among high performers, that number is even higher.
The assumption that people want to hear they are doing great is often a leader's projection of their own discomfort with giving it.
The quality of feedback makes all the difference.
Tara Mohr, author of Playing Big, points to research showing that women tend to receive feedback about their personality, while men receive feedback about their behavior!!
No wonder so many women have learned to fear it.
If you lead a team, remember your team’s growth depends on your willingness to be uncomfortable to have that critical conversation.
High performers leave teams where they don't feel they're growing.
Try this
Imagine what could shift if you knew exactly what you need to do to move to your next level.
And what it could shift for your team if you provided specific, direct, caring feedback on a quarterly basis.
Ask for specific feedback:
say: "What is the one thing I could change that would have the most impact right now?"
ask for specifics. Take what is useful, set down the rest, but do not skip the conversation.
Give specific, timely, behavioral feedback:
don’t say "you come across as controlling"
say instead "in our recent team meeting, when the concern was raised about the timeline, I noticed you moved forward before fully addressing it."
stick to behavior observation, not personality assessment.
Feedback is data, not a verdict on someone’s worth.
Have a great weekend and talk to you soon!
XO
Ramona
P.S.If you lead a team and the feedback culture is not where you want it to be, I work with organizations on building the kind of psychological safety where honest conversations become the norm rather than the exception. Let's talk about what that could look like for your team.
Hi, I’m Ramona, founder and executive leadership coach partnering with senior leaders, founders, and organizations to build the leadership capacity needed to lead effectively through growth, transition, and ambiguity.
I’ve coached leaders and facilitated leadership development for organizations including Google, Meta, Adobe, Cisco, Deloitte, Accenture, Anthropic, Warner Media, Nordstrom, Mars, Vuori, VC firms, and scaling startups, supporting leaders navigating increased scope, complexity, and pressure.
My approach integrates leadership strategy, evidence-based coaching, emotional intelligence, neuroscience, and mindfulness to help leaders think more clearly, communicate more effectively, and lead with authentic confidence as their roles evolve.
My credentials include:
IPEC Certified Leadership Coach | Leadership Circle Profile (LCP)coach | Certified Positive Intelligence Coach | Emotional Intelligence Trainer | Mindfulness Meditation Teacher.
Before coaching, I spent years in senior marketing research and strategy roles at companies including Twitter, eBay, Ancestry, and StubHub, so I deeply understand the pressures of corporate leadership.
I believe that when leaders embody their highest potential, they don’t just advance their careers and organizations—they create ripples of positive change.
