The team everyone wanted to be in
A few years ago, in my last corporate job, I worked with a team that everyone was impressed by.
These people were super sharp, super confident — the kind of team that walked into meetings with senior leadership and completely owned the room. I remember feeling equally impressed and intimidated by them.
I partnered with them on a project and got to know them and their leader.
I saw how forceful she was. She knew exactly what she wanted, pushed hard, moved fast, and delivered.
What I'm not sure anyone ever told her was this: her team felt forced by her, not empowered or motivated.
They were complying, but they were not bought in.
And then, within nine months, it all came apart.
First, her right hand person left. A couple of months later, she was let go.
Soon after, the team was restructured entirely under a new leader.
I remember a few of us being genuinely confused. That team had seemed like they were hitting it out of the park. How did this happen so fast?
And then came the part that has always stayed with me.
We love to put people on a pedestal — and then tear them down. Once she was gone, people were quick to say she only cared about results and not about her people.
It became her fault, her failure.
But I don't think that's the full story.
I think she was leading the only way she knew how, in a system that had rewarded a forceful style.
Nobody gave her the honest feedback she needed to grow beyond what she knew.
This is the old way of leading. And it has an expiration date.
And when a leader creates compliance instead of commitment, the whole ecosystem suffers.
Amy Edmondson, professor at Harvard Business School and the world's leading researcher on team performance, has spent decades studying what happens when people are afraid to speak up.
Her findings are clear: when people feel controlled, they go into compliance mode. They lose trust, motivation, and the willingness to contribute the ideas that could actually move the needle.
This happens in part because we measure and reward performance, but we overlook the human dimension.
The tension between getting things done and staying genuinely connected as human beings is hard to hold.
But it is exactly what high-performing leaders and teams do really skillfully.
Brené Brown's research adds another layer: you cannot lead well without building trust, and you cannot build trust without showing up as a real human being, authentically, and with vulnerability.
Trust is the only foundation that holds. Performance built on fear, optics, or compliance has an expiration date.
High performers don't leave teams they believe in. They leave teams where they don't feel heard.
A tool you can use this week
Last week I shared a check-in tool and the five buckets to keep in mind when evaluating your team's health, including the 15 behaviors I recommend having your team anonymously rate themselves on. If you want the worksheet, let me know and I'll send it over.
This week I want to share something you can do alone, before your next 1:1 meeting. For each person on your team, ask yourself:
When did this person last share a genuinely different opinion to mine?
What might they think about how we work together as a team?
If a better opportunity came along, what would keep them in my team?
Those answers will tell you a lot about how much psychological safety actually exists for your people. How free they feel to speak up, to disagree, and to bring their unique ideas real to the table.
If any of this is landing with you, I would love to hear from you.
With love and courage,
Ramona
P.S. If you would like to explore working together, you can book a complimentary 30-minute conversation with me HERE. I will share how I work with leaders and their teams to build the kind of trust that actually holds, and we can have a real conversation about what that might look like for yours.
Hi, I’m Ramona, founder and executive leadership coach partnering with senior leaders, founders, and organizations to build the leadership capacity needed to lead effectively through growth, transition, and ambiguity.
I’ve coached leaders and facilitated leadership development for organizations including Google, Meta, Adobe, Cisco, Deloitte, Accenture, Anthropic, Warner Media, Nordstrom, Mars, Vuori, VC firms, and scaling startups, supporting leaders navigating increased scope, complexity, and pressure.
My approach integrates leadership strategy, evidence-based coaching, emotional intelligence, neuroscience, and mindfulness to help leaders think more clearly, communicate more effectively, and lead with authentic confidence as their roles evolve.
My credentials include: IPEC Certified Leadership Coach | Leadership Circle Profile (LCP)coach | Certified Positive Intelligence Coach | Emotional Intelligence Trainer | Mindfulness Meditation Teacher.
Before coaching, I spent years in senior marketing research and strategy roles at companies including Twitter, eBay, Ancestry, and StubHub, so I deeply understand the pressures of corporate leadership.
I believe that when leaders embody their highest potential, they don’t just advance their careers and organizations—they create ripples of positive change.
