There is one sentence I read a long time ago, that stuck with me to this day. This sentence resurfaced throughout my life, and was the spark in my quest to research and understand human happiness.

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

This sentence makes us ponder about our capacity for happiness, as Tolstoy's novel doesn't actually reveal any perfectly happy families. Like the family I grew up in, the families he portrayed were torn by financial problems and quarrels.

Was Tolstoy right? Are all happy people happy in the same way? Are all unhappy people unhappy in different ways? How do they differ from happy ones? These were the questions at the start of my research.

What's the *secret* of happiness? Is there such thing? Are there people who are truly happier? Are people happy in the same way? What's the difference between what happy people know, feel, or do, compared to others who rate themselves as less happy? These are some of the questions that I've been seeking to answer with the Happiness Research project that I started back in October 2015.

If I were to ask you, what's your dream for this year, and you took some time to think about it, what would it be? If you didn't listen to the voice that shuts down your ideas, that tells you that dreaming doesn't pay bills? If you dared to dream the biggest dream, even if you believed it's utterly foolish and impossible?

The year is fresh and my heart is hopeful and happy. I'm having so much fun dreaming up new adventures for this year. I can already smell the adventure that's coming my way.

Here are some powerful tips to help you as you start the new year:

1 > Be nice to yourself

This is the only way to get to your heart, to honor it, to heal it, and to nourish it. Don’t be harsh. Don’t beat yourself up for what you don’t have or haven’t done. Look at yourself with kindness.

This year we went back to Eastern Europe for the summer. Life in Romania is in many ways very similar to life in the US. There are malls with H&M and Gap stores. There are hipster coffee shops. There are upscale cheese places where you can buy 20 different types of brie or feta cheese. As of a couple of years ago, biking lanes started to pop up through parks and on the side of the road. Teenagers are on their smartphones at all times, and everyone is on Facebook and Instagram.

After spending over two years of inward exploration, I now understand that happiness is available at all times, to all of us. After reading ancient wisdom and positive psychology, I now understand that happiness is something that we can learn to cultivate, sort of like wisdom and maturity.

There is a question that has been both my thorn and my guru for many years. This question has burned at first through my brain and then through through my heart. Most of my thoughts at any given hour began revolving around this one question. And it’s a question as old as the world itself. “What am I here for?”

The question implies that there is something we’re here for, right? It implies that there is something we must seek, and that we’re capable of finding it. It implies that we’re here for a reason, that our individual lives matter. It also implies that each of us have our own particular reason we’re here for. We see and personally know a few people who seem like they found their unique calling, but that calling is not a good fit us.

Looking back, I think an important step in shifting my life's path and making a significant change began once I allowed myself to admit that my job had become boring, mundane, and that I wanted to do something more significant. 

It's Monday, and it's a great day to set our intentions for the week. What do you wish to create this week? What can you do this week to take steady steps in the direction you wish to go? What thoughts and actions can support you on your goal? What barriers and negative thoughts lay in your way that you can let go of, and move past by? 

My friend K, who wrote her first book while raising small kids and a full time job, and who is now an accomplished writer with a film deal for her most recent books, told me something that stuck with me. "I learned to stop thinking about the things I wanted as being hard. As I matured, I learned to rethink the act of writing as being no more difficult than brushing teeth. I made a point to view it as accessible, as being easy." 

I'm a rebel. When I first heard the idea that suffering is part of life, I said "not for me". I had read about wisdom traditions that say suffering is unavoidable. I had read about other wisdom traditions that say suffering is avoidable, but pain isn’t. That suffering is our way of avoiding pain, of not accepting what is happening to us. That pain is part of life, as is grieving for what is lost.

I rebelled against such way of thinking, because I believed that life is meant to be beautiful, and happy, and that I'm lucky to be alive. The idea that life is suffering felt like blasphemy. Life is meant to be lived at its fullest while we’re alive, young, and healthy. Life is meant to be lived in the moment. Whenever I heard of people suffering, I assumed it was their fault in some way. I distanced myself from the idea of pain by thinking that if I did all the "right" things, I wouldn't suffer. 

Since almost a year ago, I've been interviewing people about happiness, what it means to them, and what helped them get to where they are now. I've been looking to learn how others like me overcame obstacles, and how did they built up the courage to make changes to their lives.

About half way through the interviews, I noticed that when I asked people about something they’ve accomplished or they’re proud of, many began their 'success' story by talking about a particularly tough life experience. Practically every other person mentioned a challenging, or even tragic event that ended up changing the entire course of their life. Some failed to get into the grad school they wanted, or failed to get the job or lover they wanted, while others lost a sibling, a friend, or a parent, while others had been diagnosed with cancer.