Feeling stretched thin? The leadership skill no one talks about
Recently, I coached a senior leader—I’ll call her Michelle—navigating what seemed like a straightforward team transition.
She had two new hires joining her team. Both were smart and experienced, but slower to ramp than she expected.
Instead of focusing on strategic work, Michelle found herself constantly circling back, re-explaining things, fixing mistakes, and trying to meet tight deadlines of a high-stakes launch.
She felt the pressure to hold everything together, managing up, managing down... and collapsing inside.
“I just need people who can get it and run with it. I don’t have time to babysit,” she told me.
She told me she had no time for her toddler. She felt resentful, toward her team, her stakeholders, her partner, and herself.
And she was being tough on herself for not showing up the way she wanted to. For not being more patient.
For snapping when she wanted to lead with compassion.
Michelle’s energy was drained, and she was scared she was heading for burnout again. She had left her previous job to escape that very pattern.
“How can I get grounded and make the best of this situation?” she asked.
The Leadership Skill No One Talks About
One of the most underrated leadership skills is learning how to manage your energy in times of stress.
Back in 2018, I learned a framework that truly changed my life. It helped me at my work, my parenting, my relationships.
It gave me language for the invisible patterns I had been trying to understand for years. I spent a year studying it in depth and became a Master Practitioner in Energy Leadership.
Gosh, I wish I had learned it much earlier in my career, it would have saved me so much unnecessary stress about how I led projects and teams.
According to the Energy Leadership (EL) model, every one of us operates at a mix of energetic levels—ranging from victimhood (Level 1) and conflict/competition (Level 2), to responsibility, compassion, collaboration (Levels 3–5), and ultimately to intuitive, visionary leadership (Levels 6 and 7).
Our energy is shaped by the thoughts we think most often and the emotions we habitually feel.
Over time, these patterns become automatic, driving how we communicate, make decisions, and show up as leaders.
The problem isn’t that we occasionally drop into lower levels of energy and are reactive. It’s that we stay there, unaware that our creative, life-giving energy is being drained.
That’s exactly what was happening for Michelle.
She had slipped into Level 2 energy: control and resentment.
And even though she said all the right things, her team could feel the tension underneath.
She wanted to delegate, to stay calm.
But her hidden beliefs were part of an unconscious competing commitment: to prove her worth through nonstop work.
In trying to protect her reputation, she was unintentionally disempowering her team.
How To Shift Your Energy
The temptation in moments like this is to go faster, push harder.
But when you’re under pressure, the most strategic move isn’t speed—it’s a pause to reset.
Pause before reacting to that triggering comment.
Pause before rewriting that deck, and before sending that 11PM email no one asked for.
Self-empowerment is the discipline of pausing just long enough to:
→ Notice your thoughts, emotions, and energy
→ Allow them to be there, without judgment
→ Ask: What’s driving my urgency? What’s truly needed right now?
With that inner shift, your outer strategy becomes clear, and from that space, real change becomes possible.
Michelle saw this unfold in real time. Within a few weeks, the dynamic around her started to shift.
If This Resonates…
If you’re holding a lot right now and want a different way forward, I’m teaching this exact framework in my upcoming workshop:
This is my signature workshop—a framework I’ve taught to leaders across industries for years.
It’s consistently one of the most powerful tools I’ve seen to help people shift out of reactivity and into clarity. Especially in the moments that feel the hardest—when your team isn’t delivering, the pressure’s rising, and you’re wondering how long you can keep holding it all—it will help you reset your energy, shift your perspective, and reclaim your agency.
Let’s change how you lead—starting from the inside out.
With love and courage,
Ramona
P.S. If you’re feeling stretched thin and want support in leading with more calm, clarity, and impact—especially when the pressure’s high, let’s talk. Book a free discovery session here.
P.P.S. If your organization is looking for this kind of support in Q4, I’d love to partner with you. Just reply to this and let’s connect.
Hi, I’m Ramona, a leadership coach and trainer partnering with organizations to cultivate highly engaged, resilient, human-centered leaders and teams that thrive through change.
I’ve coached leaders and led workshops at Google, Meta, Warner Media, Cisco, Deloitte, Accenture, Mars, VC firms, and mid-size startups, helping leaders break free from self-doubt, self-sabotage, and burnout.
With a unique blend of mindset coaching, leadership strategy, neuroscience, and mindfulness, I guide leaders through navigating change, elevating their careers, and strengthening executive presence.
My credentials include: ICF-certified executive coach (ACC, IPEC), Certified Positive Intelligence Coach, Leadership Circle Coach, Emotional Intelligence Trainer, Certified Mindfulness Meditation Teacher.
Before coaching, I led teams at eBay and Levi’s and consulted for Twitter, SoFi, and other high performing companies, so I deeply understand the pressures of corporate leadership.
My services include executive, leader, and team coaching, leadership development workshops and retreats for organizations.
