I'm a rebel. When I first heard the idea that suffering is part of life, I said "not for me". I had read about wisdom traditions that say suffering is unavoidable. I had read about other wisdom traditions that say suffering is avoidable, but pain isn’t. That suffering is our way of avoiding pain, of not accepting what is happening to us. That pain is part of life, as is grieving for what is lost.

I rebelled against such way of thinking, because I believed that life is meant to be beautiful, and happy, and that I'm lucky to be alive. The idea that life is suffering felt like blasphemy. Life is meant to be lived at its fullest while we’re alive, young, and healthy. Life is meant to be lived in the moment. Whenever I heard of people suffering, I assumed it was their fault in some way. I distanced myself from the idea of pain by thinking that if I did all the "right" things, I wouldn't suffer. 

Since almost a year ago, I've been interviewing people about happiness, what it means to them, and what helped them get to where they are now. I've been looking to learn how others like me overcame obstacles, and how did they built up the courage to make changes to their lives.

About half way through the interviews, I noticed that when I asked people about something they’ve accomplished or they’re proud of, many began their 'success' story by talking about a particularly tough life experience. Practically every other person mentioned a challenging, or even tragic event that ended up changing the entire course of their life. Some failed to get into the grad school they wanted, or failed to get the job or lover they wanted, while others lost a sibling, a friend, or a parent, while others had been diagnosed with cancer. 

For the longest time I can remember, I've struggled with this one question: what should I be when I grow up?

During Spring break in college one year, I went with a group of friends to the Black Sea. One evening I walked solo on the beach. The waves were crashing loudly and powerfully against the stones. The darkness was dotted with hotel lights, voices, and music. I looked at the sky. It was a clear evening, with stars crowded above me. I was no longer a child, a teenager. I was 21, which felt like I was an adult, with the childhood forever behind me.

Ever since I set to understand what is happiness, I found myself with one intuitive answer, and many questions, like - is it even realistic to expect that a good job should not only pay my bills but should also make me feel satisfied and fulfilled? How many people are lucky enough out there who are 1) aware of what they're passionate/good at, and 2) making a living doing what they love?

Big goals are important. But perhaps even more important is awareness of the work that it takes to get there. We're putting in work for many things on a daily basis. We know how to do it. What we need to do is to take that first, baby step, in the RIGHT DIRECTION. The direction of our dream. 

Taking that first step in the right direction feels so good. Take that big goal and divide it into small, actionable steps. Once you take that first step, you feel excited, hopeful. Take that second step. Pretty soon, you'll feel a bit of momentum building. I've noticed while working in big corporations over the last 15 years or so that people don't believe at first in aggressive corporate annual goals. A CEO with good leadership skills often is able to inspire them to take the steps needed to move forward. But what really ends up making a difference is the FIRST SMALL WIN. Seeing the results is what keeps us going. Seeing that our actions trigger even the smallest successes is what REALLY motivates us. And we keep going.