The advantage of calm authority
Some of the biggest learnings of my career came from being in a few meetings with the CMO back in my eBay role, and watching how she showed up in critical moments.
I remember once walking into a meeting she led where the tension was already thick by the time I joined. Before my turn to share findings from a major project, I watched teams present go-to-market numbers that weren’t tracking as planned.
I remember thinking, this isn’t great. All eyes turned to the CMO to see her reaction.
What stayed with me was how she spoke directly to each person, not with blame, nor by jumping to fix the issue.
She asked with a steady, calm voice, “So what are we learning here?” The tension seemed to ease, and people started to share ideas. It was a remarkable moment.
To paraphrase Maya Angelou: people may forget the data, but they never forget how you made them feel.
Have you ever been in a tense meeting, when a leader became accusatory or controlling of those around?
It makes everyone feel defensive, pulling them into fear-based reactive modes, and strategic thinking shuts down.
With practice, leaders with next level leadership skills do something different:
They ask thoughtful, open questions to surface insight, not rhetorical or blaming ones
They acknowledge tension and risk instead of pretending it isn’t there
They invite co-creation, rather than shutting people down.
What they’re really communicating is:
“I don’t have all the answers, and I know that we can figure this out together.”
People feel trusted, and feel safe to share fresh ideas.
That is the advantage of calm authority.
As you build that inner steadiness, you can speak authentically and constructively, even when pressure is high.
In that room, the CMO’s calm acted like a tuning fork, and everyone followed.
Harvard professor Amy Edmondson, whose research on psychological safety and high-performing teams is widely cited, says:
“Psychological safety is a belief that one will not be punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns, or mistakes.”
Her core finding is that psychological safety is created in moments of uncertainty or pressure, based on how leaders respond in real time. Those moments set the tone for how teams behave and the culture they create moving forward.
In IOLA Week 8 — Executive Presence & Influence, we practice building this capacity, exactly for when it matters: in tense meetings, difficult conversations, or teams navigating disagreements.
Inside Out Leadership Accelerator (IOLA) 2026
Inside my signature 9-week program, the work is to transform how you see yourself, how you relate to your work, how you make decisions, and how you show up when the stakes are high.
IOLA 2026 begins February 27th
Here’s what a leader from last year’s IOLA shared:
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— Bridget S., Senior Leader, Google
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With love and courage,
Ramona
Hi, I’m Ramona, founder and executive leadership coach partnering with senior leaders, founders, and organizations to build the leadership capacity needed to lead effectively through growth, transition, and ambiguity.
I’ve coached leaders and facilitated leadership development for organizations including Google, Meta, Adobe, Cisco, Deloitte, Accenture, Anthropic, Warner Media, Nordstrom, Mars, Vuori, VC firms, and scaling startups, supporting leaders navigating increased scope, complexity, and pressure.
My approach integrates leadership strategy, evidence-based coaching, emotional intelligence, neuroscience, and mindfulness to help leaders think more clearly, communicate more effectively, and lead with authentic confidence as their roles evolve.
My credentials include:
IPEC Certified Leadership Coach
Leadership Circle Profile (LCP) coach Certified Positive Intelligence Coach Emotional Intelligence Trainer Mindfulness Meditation Teacher.
Before coaching, I spent years in senior marketing research and strategy roles at companies including Twitter, eBay, Ancestry, and StubHub, so I deeply understand the pressures of corporate leadership.
I believe that when leaders embody their highest potential, they don’t just advance their careers and organizations—they create ripples of positive change.
