The real reason you procrastinate

I just got back from vacation after spending time with my family in Romania and traveling together to the gorgeous island of Corfu in Greece. I couldn’t get enough of the turquoise, warm Mediterranean, the generous people, the souvlaki.

One moment I’ll never forget is dancing on a moving boat to the DJ’s music, waving to people on another boat moving in perfect tandem with ours, on our way to Paxos. Also loved biking with both my parents through my hometown Sibiu, my heart swelling with love and gratitude.

Back home, two priorities topped my list: writing this newsletter and doing my taxes.

And yet… I kept putting them off. Instead, I cleaned my desk, reorganized my closet—classic avoidance mode.

Why do we avoid what’s most important? And more importantly—how do we shift that?

Because even when you’re deeply motivated by your vision, you still need a system that supports you in getting it done.

That’s exactly what we worked on in Week 4 of the Spring cohort of the Inside Out Leadership Accelerator (IOLA)—which I’ll be teaching again this Fall (doors opening soon, save your spot HERE).

I’m sharing below some of the biggest insights that emerged from that session, plus reflection prompts to help you focus on what matters most.

Insight #1: Procrastination isn’t a time management problem—it’s an emotional regulation problem.

We don’t delay important work because we’re lazy. We delay it because it matters.

The higher the stakes, the greater the pressure to make it perfect—which creates fear, discomfort, and avoidance.

This is the Avoider Saboteur at work. It tries to protect you from discomfort the best way it knows how: by shifting your attention toward easier, lower-stakes tasks—anything but the one that feels big and risky.

Procrastination is about escaping negative emotions in the moment, even if it means compromising your long-term goals.

Neuroscience explains that our brains are wired with a negativity bias, built for survival, which overestimates the effort it takes to complete something, underestimates your capability, and makes you push that important project until 2 am.

NOT helpful.

A client shared:

“I’ll do everything else on my list, but the big project—I keep waiting for those perfect three hours to sit and be creative. Unless there’s a deadline, those three hours never come.”

The irony is that the most strategic, creative work happens in the part of your brain you can only access when you’re calm, not frantic.

So when you find yourself procrastinating, take 3–5 deep breaths, remind yourself that you’re safe and fully capable, and just get started. We’ve got this.

In his book Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, Timothy A. Pychyl writes that the real shift comes from setting clear intentions and practicing self-compassion—two habits that quiet the Avoider and get you moving.

👉🏼 Reflection Prompt: What important task have you been avoiding?

Insight #2: Your saboteurs might be using your strengths against you.

The Pleaser, the Hyper-Achiever, the Perfectionist—they’re the parts of you that helped you pass those interviews and succeed in your work.

They want you to nail that presentation, deliver flawless recommendations, and consistently perform at a high level. But that same inner pressure to be amazing can also drive overwork, anxiety, and delay.

An IOLA participant shared a moment when her Pleaser wanted to jump in during a high-stakes escalation, even though she’d committed to two days off—and how she pivoted:

“The goodness my inner Sage reminded me my team could handle it. I told them, ‘You’ve got it—tell me if you really need me.’ They owned it, the meeting went well, and I got to reset.”

When she tapped her Sage (the part of you that’s wise, calm, grounded) and chose trust, both she and her team grew.

The work is to notice when a strength is in overdrive and intentionally practice habits that serve your current goals.

👉🏼 Reflection Prompt: Which saboteur is most active for you, and how would your Sage respond differently?

Insight #3: Not everything urgent is important.

If you don’t define your priorities, someone else will. Many of us over-index on urgent tasks because they make us feel productive, even when they distract us from what’s important.

The Eisenhower Matrix is a simple, powerful antidote: spend more time in the “Important & Not Urgent” quadrant—where strategy and long-term impact live.

One IOLA participant, reflecting on the exercise, said:

“Urgent and important for me right now is setting boundaries with a current client. Important but not urgent is seeking new clients. And the not urgent, not important? Redesigning my website. I’ve been in business 10 years without a great one—it can wait.”

This kind of clarity frees up energy for what truly matters and reduces the mental clutter of “shoulds.”

👉🏼 Reflection Prompt: What’s one “Important but Not Urgent” action you can schedule this week?

Insight #4: Progress beats perfection—start small, start now.

Several participants in IOLA spoke about feeling stuck in inaction. Waiting to “feel ready” is not a helpful strategy.

We know from research that action creates motivation—not the other way around.

Give yourself permission to start messy. Break the project into small, doable steps. Commit to the smallest possible action today—something that might take 25 minutes (I love using the Pomodoro method), and repeat.

Remember to expect setbacks—they’re part of the process. Overcoming perfectionism means practicing self-compassion and challenging unrealistic expectations.

A client share this about updating her resume, which she had been putting off (who doesn’t?):

“I’m not going to whip it up in one day, but I can start from scratch or with my old template and just brainstorm. Even 30 minutes a day will move it forward.”

It’s progress—not perfection—that changes your career trajectory.

👉🏼 Reflection Prompt: What’s one imperfect action you could take today that would create momentum toward your goal?

Insight #5: Calm is a competitive advantage.

Calm is an inner state that allows you to tap your inner Sage, your intuition, your true Self. When you’re calm, your prefrontal cortex is fully online—you think strategically, respond wisely, and can follow through in an empowered way.

Practices that create a calm, centered state like breath work or meditation—aren’t luxuries. They’re needed for you to access your highest potential.

The alternative is the “always on” culture that burns you and your team out.

As an IOLA participant put it:

“I’ve been a high-achiever my whole career, but when I show up calm instead of reactive, I lead better—and my team grows more too.”

Her calm became contagious—to her kids, her partner, and her team.

Sustainable success comes from your ability to stay centered, intentional, and boundaried—not from constant hustle.

👉🏼 Reflection Prompt: What’s one practice you can commit to this week to keep yourself calm and focused under pressure?

In a world that glorifies hustle, choosing calm, focus, and intention is your ultimate power move.

And here’s the best part—you don’t have to do it alone.

The next IOLA program kicks off September 26th… and this round is going to be more transformative than ever before.

If you’ve been watching past IOLA cohorts from the sidelines, this is your sign.

Stop putting your growth on hold—save your spot now and get $250 off during prelaunch, only through Friday, August 29th.

With love and empowerment,

Ramona

P.S. Know someone who keeps putting off the thing that matters most? Forward this to them to break the cycle and take that first step.