The FOCUS™ Method to help you lead through uncertainty

Two weeks ago, I spent four days in silent meditation at Spirit Rock, a retreat center nestled in the hills of Marin. Each morning began with a bell at 5:45am. I’m not a morning person, and waking up that early was its own stretch.

I learned that I can wake up early and it’s actually easy when everyone around you is doing the same. We started at 6:15, alternating between 45 minutes of sitting meditation and 45 minutes of mindful walking, and meal breaks (all in silence) until 9:15pm.

We walked like slow-moving monks along the gorgeous trails — lifting, moving, and deliberately placing each foot. Time slowed down.

It’s so nourishing and such a luxury to be present. To notice your feet moving, your heart beating without you telling it to, your thoughts passing like clouds across a clear sky.

By the end of the retreat, everything felt lighter, calmer. My mind was clear like I had taken an internal shower. I felt like my best self. I shared this IG reel about my time at Spirit Rock.

We become better versions of ourselves when we give our nervous systems space to slow down.

But on a normal day, I notice myself on high alert—reactive, distracted, forgetting my priorities. Add to that the noise of economic concerns, layoffs, political tension, and it’s no wonder we’re stressed out.

We can’t always influence what’s happening around us. But we can become more skilled at how we lead ourselves through it.

I’ve been teaching and coaching leadership from the inside out for years, and I recently created a 5-step framework that summarizes my intuitive approach to staying focused.

It weaves together ideas from many disciplines, including psychology, neuroscience, mindfulness, and behavioral change. It helps you regulate your nervous system, stay connected to what matters, and move forward—creating your own bubble, the one thing you can manage, no matter what happens around you👇🏼

I love this quote from Georgia O’Keefe…

”I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life. And I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”

The FOCUS™ Method

When you FOCUS™, you don’t wait for clarity or confidence. You generate it.

🔵 F — Feel What’s Here

Breathe, relax, acknowledge your feelings.

When you pause to name what you’re feeling (instead of powering through), you move out of reactive fight-flight-freeze mode and into a more grounded state.

Tara Brach, my meditation teacher, emphasizes that we can build the capacity to allow our feelings just as they are—without trying to fix them, feel ashamed of them, or get lost in them. We learn to accept reality as it is, with compassion for our humanness.

‘When you name it, you tame it’ writes Dr. Daniel Siegel.

I used to push through my anxiety about being a solopreneur. Learning to say, “I feel worried, and that’s normal,” helped me validate my feelings.

Check in regularly throughout the day: “What am I feeling right now?”

🔵 O — Own Your Why

Remember your intention—and why it matters.

The rollercoaster of entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart. But my why always kept me going: “I’m doing this to model courage for my kids, to feel more authentic and free. I know I can help people. This work matters.”

In Start With Why, Simon Sinek writes that we are most inspired and resilient when we understand the deeper reason behind what we do—not just the goal itself.

My favorite questions to connect to our why are: “What would I love to experience or create?” and “Why is that important to me?”

🔵 C — Choose Your Mindset

Reframe fear. Connect to your inner wisdom.

Fear-based thoughts are sneaky. They often sound “practical”—but they keep you small. Playing it too safe at work because you fear layoffs can actually make you less impactful.

One of the most common thoughts we have is: “What if I fail?” Notice the shift in your energy when you ask instead: “What if this works?”

Mindset reframing (a.k.a. cognitive reappraisal) is a powerful tool for resilience. It teaches your brain to look for opportunities instead of threats.

I learned to ask: “What’s a more helpful thought I can choose right now?”

I also love Shirzad Chamine’s question: “What’s the gift or opportunity in this situation?”

If you got laid off, it’s hard to see it as a growth opportunity—but it can strengthen your resilience muscles.

🔵 U — Uncover Your Next Step

Clarity comes from movement—not overthinking.

Fear wants you to wait until you're ready. But readiness is often the result of taking action, not the prerequisite.

I’ve been writing (on and off) a book over the last ten years. What keeps me going is telling myself, “I’ll just write a few paragraphs,” to release inner pressure. It doesn’t always work—but I keep trying.

It was a relief to read about Resistance in Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art. I felt less alone. Resistance is the internal force that tries to stop us from doing meaningful work. Tiny steps forward dissolve it.

What’s one move you’ve been avoiding — that would move the needle if you made it?

Maybe now is the time to develop your startup, explore that side gig you’ve been dreaming about, or schedule a coffee chat for the role you’d love.

🔵 S — Step Forward with Self-Trust

Confidence isn’t about being fearless. It’s about taking action anyway.

Let follow-through become your proof of your strength—and notice the identity shift it creates. Action tells your nervous system: “I’m the kind of person who can do hard things.”

Celebrate each step. Build the habit of acknowledging your progress. Don’t wait for others to validate you.

What becomes possible when you bet on your vision, not fear?

This way of being helps you move through the world with clarity and calm—no matter what’s happening around you.